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Strawberries.

They are so young and sweet.

And I want them.

An endless burden.

When I look at that music box and hear it’s song, I can’t move…

I want to do the  things I want, I know I can.

And I am not doing anything about it… you know my reasons.

If only someone would turn the knob and make me spin round and round.

Dance to some music.

I could.

Je veux qu’elle meure.

Je veux mourir.

Everything I love about them seems to start and end at an instant I see something new. It’s like I want to become more like them. I’m losing myself this way. If there was a chance that I get to share the things that they have, I could be happy. I want more than this.  I want more than “they”.

A piece of his heart. That is what I want.

… but it’s against my principles.

and it’s against You.

… it’s against heaven and earth.

I should be over it by now. I told myself over and over again. Every time my thoughts catch glimpse of that memory, I can’t think straight. Will I ever be cured?

I feel so dirty… Please help me forgive, help me forget.

It haunts me everyday, I want to walk away from here. Did I sin so much in the past life, that I’m reborn to literally live with it…

Give me the strength to face this fear of not being able to move on because of that stain.